Moonlighting: Oct. '09

Ignoring good judgment, the fine folks at BarNoneDrinks.com continue to allow me to take up valuable space in their monthly newsletter with my words & pictures. October's column has been posted here, and is a must-read if you have an irrational fear of Piranhas (and who doesn't, really?)

If that's not enough booze-centric musing for you, all my previous columns can be seen here. I also strongly recommend you check the archives to peruse the news from ALL the people who contribute to the newsletter. They love a good cocktail, and spend countless hours awash in liquor for your benefit. That's real dedication!

Read early, read often.

The Un-Review: Spiced Rum Summit (Pt. 2)

Continuing my exploration into Things I Am Profoundly Unqualified To Do, (in this case, discussing the relative merits of specific liquor brands), I put five more spiced rums under the microscope. Join me, won't you?

- Kilo Kai Spiced Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: No (But it does have a Jolly Roger-esque emblem, so it gets an honorary mention)

Overall Packaging Coolness: Medium/High. Minimalist design with smoked, nearly-opaque bottle emblazoned with a stylized skull-and-crossbones logo and small paper label. There is also a thin strip of high-friction tape around the neck of the bottle that I guess helps you maintain your grip if you're pouring drinks while snowboarding or participating in a mixed-martial-arts tournament.

Proof: 70

Spice-itude: Medium. Vanilla & cherry flavors come through most prominently, and there's a buttery tone overall. Fine to sip straight, but it's kind of limp on its own. This stuff is clearly meant to be mixed.

Coke Compatibility: Medium. It syncs up with the Coke seamlessly, but rather than both standing out AND cooperating flavor-wise (what I believe a good "Rum & Coke rum" should do), it sort of just amplifies the existing Coke flavors without adding anything new.

Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Medium. The bottle design is slick and edgy-looking, but maybe a wee bit too trendy/clubby for a Flamboyant Badass to fully embrace. Unless we're talking about the future... This is totally the rum that Aeon Flux or a cybernetically-enhanced Hong Kong gangster would drink.

Another Round Likelihood: Low. (Rum & Coke that is...but I definitely will be trying it in other applications)

Overall Assessment: I like this stuff a lot- just not necessarily in traditional rum roles. I tend to think of it as less of a true rum and more of its own thing entirely...almost like a rum liqueur that would really shine as a flavoring element rather than a base spirit. Lots of mad-scientist potential.


- Old New Orleans Cajun Spiced Lousiana Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: No

Overall Packaging Coolness: Low. Standard bottle with restrained, text-only label is very distinctive and well-designed, but says "classy" rather than "cool."

Proof: 80

Spice-itude: High. Plenty of aggressive spice goodness without being overly sweet or having any one flavor dominate. A nice medley of flavors makes this great to enjoy by itself.

Coke Compatibility: Medium/High. Rum character tends to retreat, leaving the spice as a residual element detectable in & around the Coke. You could definitely do worse.

Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Low/ Medium. I can envision the blood-red label catching the eye of a Flamboyant Badass in mid-ransack, but the smoothness and spice-forward flavor profile tames the bite that a true F.B. would probably be looking for.

Another Round Likelihood: High (Only if I'm having it straight...mixing it with Coke verges on creating a liquid cookie)

Overall Assessment: Superb balance between spice and "real rum" flavors. Manages to walk the line without sacrificing spiciness OR conventional rum taste.


- Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: No (But there is an anchor printed on the cap as a nod to seafaring themes. Besides, it's called "Sailor Jerry", so nautical adventure is pretty much implied.)

Overall Packaging Coolness: Medium. Standard bottle with label bearing an old-school-style tattoo of a hula girl and a smattering of text. Overall effect is minimal, vintage, and slightly seedy.

Proof: 92

Spice-itude: Medium. Spice is evident, but takes a back seat to the straightforward rum flavor. The slight overproof heat overshadows the spiciness a bit, leaving a slight caramel tinge most noticeably.

Coke Compatibility: Medium. Fades to the background except for caramel & vanilla flavors....sort of makes the Coke taste like Vanilla Coke rather than adding a rum aspect.

Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Medium/High. Classic yet irreverent packaging combined with no-nonsense contents would likely put this in the loot sack or footlocker of any given Flamboyant Badass.

Another Round Likelihood: High (On its own. Not so much in a Rum & Coke)

Overall Assessment: Drink it straight. And if doing so compels you to get a tattoo, at least make it a good one.


- Admiral Nelson's Premium Spiced Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: Yes (boat, map). Admiral Nelson is also featured prominently, but since he was technically not a pirate, it doesn't count.

Overall Packaging Coolness: Low. Standard bottle with spiced rum label trifecta of map/boat/adventurous nautical personality...which is fine, except the overall effect is rather chintzy-looking. As an artist, I definitely appreciate the use of an illustration, but in this case the character depicted looks like a strange hybrid of Gordon Lightfoot and Eric Stoltz. Doesn't really do it for me.

Proof: 70

Spice-itude: Low. What little spice is detectable is chemical-tasting, and the only single flavor I can pick out is something akin to artificial vanilla.

Coke Compatability: Low. It doesn't outright clash with the Coke, but seems to sit on top of it rather than merge. It's not entirely unpleasant, but it does give the drink a slightly synthetic, medicinal tang.

Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Low. Like Castillo, it comes in a 1-liter bottle, so you get some bonus hooch to fuel your badassery. Aside from that, there's not much that would garner approval from a Flamboyant Badass.

Another Round Likelihood: Low.

Overall Assessment: I remain unconvinced.


- Calico Jack: Bonney's Best Spice Flavored Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: Yes (scroll, boat)

Overall Packaging Coolness: Medium. Standard bottle with parchment-ish label showing a detailed illustration of a ship flying the Jolly Roger in a tropical setting. The Jolly Roger reappears on the back label, and there's lots of gold foil accents throughout (That means extra-classy, folks!)

Proof: 70

Spice-itude: Low. Hard to pick out any specific flavors. Very mild with just a touch of spice...end result is innocuous and bland.

Coke Compatibility: Low. Just sort of makes the Coke taste sweeter without bringing any noticeable rum component.

Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Low. Rum itself needs to be a bit coarser, and bottle needs to be less fussy if it wants to be considered solid Flamboyant Badass material.

Another Round Likelihood: Medium (only if drunk straight)

Overall Assessment: Not particularly remarkable in any way, but not necessarily bad either. This what you'd have if Kraft made rum.

Two additional items of interest:

1) I'm not 100% certain what the name of this product actually is. There are three separate labels of varying size on the bottle, and one reads, "Calico Jack: Bonney's Best Spice Flavored Rum", the second reads, "Calico Jack Premium Spice Flavored Rum" and the third simply says, Premium Spiced." Name issues aside, at least we know there's spice involved.

2) The label on the back of the bottle contains a brief, colorful bit of copy informing us that Calico Jack was "Pillaging his way through the West Indies with his famous female cohorts Anne Bonney and Mary Read..." This is worth noting, because it means that Calico Jack may have the distinction of being the first guy to use cheap rum and a boat to facilitate a threesome.


More on the way soon!

The Un-Review: Spiced Rum Summit (Pt.1)

Why spiced rum?

1) Because rum snobs and cocktail geeks hate the stuff. And as we've already established, I have a perverse compulsion to embrace liquor that everybody else writes off. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of the people who publicly sneer at spiced rum are closet consumers. I mean, someone's buying all that Captain Morgan.

2) Because some of it is perfectly decent, and I'm loathe to dismiss an entire category of spirits without at least trying a few of 'em.

3) Because I've gone to great lengths to avoid doing product reviews and I love nothing more than contradicting myself. And if I'm going to completely go back on my word, I'm going to try to be original about it, since as far as I know , no one has done a roundup of spiced rum. (But I didn't really check...it's just a hunch. I honestly didn't have time to research this, since I was busy drinking a truckload of rum).

A note on this last point: The following should in no way be considered "reviews" in the conventional sense. For example, I will not be discussing things like price of a product, detailing how it was made, or recommending whether you should buy it or not. I will also be largely avoiding tasting notes. If you want someone to tell you about stuff like "woody undertones" and "citrusy top notes" I'm not your guy. Even though I clumsily attempt to do it from time to time, I don't consider it my strong suit.

Therefore, I will be adopting the term that bartender extraordinaire Fred Sarkis used to describe my recent discussion of his fine joint Embury: "Un-review"

So what will I be discussing?

In the interest of thumbing my nose at the traditional review process, I have come up with a several categories which are geared toward spiced rum. They are:

- Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?
Is there a pirate, boat, map or scroll on the label?
- Overall Packaging Coolness
How sweet-looking is the bottle?
- Proof
Okay, obviously not unique to spiced rum, but you still need to know how much armor your liver will need.
- Spice-itude
How well does the product embody "spiced rum" vs. just "rum"?
- Coke Compatibility
Does the product work well in a Rum & Coke?
- Flamboyant Badass Quotient
Is the product something that can be envisioned being drunk by a Flamboyant Badass (i.e. a pirate)
- Another Round Likelihood
Do I want to drink more of this?
- Overall Assessment
Pretty self-explanatory, I think.

A few more notes, disclaimers, and pre-emptive ass-covering maneuvers:

1) My rigorous, scientifically sound tasting process consisted of me: A) sipping a shot or so of the rum neat in a rocks glass. B) making a Rum & Coke with it*- rocks glass, ice, no lime. C) taking notes. I also only tasted one rum per day.

2) The list of rums I will be discussing is by no means exhaustive. As nice as it would be to get my hands on every single spiced rum that's out there, we must remember that I live in Pennsylvania, so I'm lucky if I can find anything other than vodka, Jack Daniels and peppermint schnapps.

3) What I do have on hand is a combination of products that I bought myself, was provided by a brand directly, or given to me by fellow booze nerds. My opinions on a given product are not influenced in any way by the circumstances under which it was obtained. (In other words, I'm not saying I like something just because it was free).

On with the show...


- Spiced Jack #94 Spiced Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: Yes (scroll)

Overall Packaging Coolness: Medium. Has a neat label with a fake scroll/parchment motif emblazoned with a winged skull wearing a military hat and aviator's glasses. It's what I imagine Hunter S. Thompson would look like if he was undead and in the Air Force. The bottle is oddly shaped and falls somewhere between a an ancient urn and your grandmothers perfume spritzer.

Proof: 94

Spice-itude: Low. Mostly tastes of vanilla, with a noticeable alcohol burn and disturbing sweetness. Strange artificial taste on the finish.

Coke Compatibility: Low. It almost disappears entirely into the Coke, save for the alcohol...it's more like drinking a Vodka & Coke.
Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Medium. The scary label is offset by the foo-foo bottle shape.

Another Round Likelihood: Low

Overall Assessment: Not terribly rum-like. Pass.


- Original Trader Vic's Private Selection Spiced Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: No

Overall Packaging Coolness: Medium. 1.75 liter "handle" bottle with nicely-designed retro label, with the Trader Vic "mask and crossed weapons" emblem shown prominently. Looks like something you'd find while cleaning out the liquor cabinet at your great-uncle's vacation home. Plus, the handle makes it convenient to tie to your belt, leaving your hands free for swordfighting or rope-swinging.

Proof: 70

Spice-itude: Medium/High. Pretty punchy assortment of flavors. Vanilla most noticeable, but doesn't dominate.

Coke Compatibility: High. Makes an excellent Rum & Coke. The spice cuts through the sweetness of the Coke quite well.

Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Medium. It gets points for size (As far as I can tell, it only comes in the jug-size), and the Trader Vic connection, since Vic was definitely one of the original Flamboyant Badasses.

Another Round Likelihood: High

Overall Assessment: Good stuff.


- The Kraken Black Spiced Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: Yes (boat)

Overall Packaging Coolness: High. 750 ml bottle with small jug-style ring handles on the neck. Label has an old-school illustration of a giant, bug-eyed octopus crushing a ship- pretty hardcore. It's evocative of something you'd see on the shelf of a 19th-century waterfront tavern...in a movie. The only thing this needs is a wax seal or palm leaf wrapping to put it over the top.

Proof: 94

Spice-itude: Medium. Enough sweet- & spiciness to enjoy sipping on its own, but it's got a nice burn that keeps it from going into candyland.

Coke Compatibility: Medium/High. Meshes almost too well. The overall flavors are extremely complementary, and if it were a lower proof, it would probably not punch through.

Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Medium/High. "Kraken Black Spiced Rum" sounds Flamboyantly Badass to be sure, and the fact that this stuff is nearly opaque gives it some intimidation factor.

Another Round Likelihood: High

Overall Assessment: Nice. Tastes like rum, and may be the only one so far that works better on its own than mixed.


- Castillo Spiced Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: Yes (map)

Overall Packaging Coolness: Low. Safe, uninspired type treatment over old-timey map creates a look that verges on "discount brand."

Proof: 70

Spice-itude: Medium. lots of strong rum character with noticeable caramel. Could easily be sipped on its own...the most like a "real" rum out of this bunch.

Coke Compatibility: High. Not overly sweet. Manages to cut through while simultaneously melding extremely well with the Coke.

Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Low. But since it comes in a 1 liter bottle, a Flamboyant Badass would likely appreciate the extra 250 ml over the standard bottle.

Another Round Likelihood: High

Overall Assessment: Very much like a "regular" rum without sacrificing the spicy aspect. Thumbs-up.


- Lady Bligh Spiced Rum -

Pirate, Boat, Map or Scroll on the Label?: Yes (pirate, boat, map)

Overall Packaging Coolness: Low. The only bottle I found was the plastic, roughly flask-shaped style that is clearly intended for concealing in your clothing. The label depicts what is essentially a slight variation of the Captain Morgan label, except with a female character that looks like Julianna Margulies dressed as a theme park pirate.

Proof: 72.5

Spice-itude: Low. Has a cheap, hot taste overall, and a flavor I can describe only as "butterscotch cough syrup."

Coke Compatibility: Low. Despite having a decent amount of alcohol heat, it vanishes almost entirely...except for that synthetic butterscotch flavor that lingers on the finish.

Flamboyant Badass Quotient: Low. This is pretty much what the kids from Superbad would have grabbed in a desperate panic.

Another Round Likelihood: Low.

Overall Assessment: Pour it on your ice cream for an alcoholic dessert treat!

More to come...


UPDATE: Doug Winship from The Pegu Blog gave me a well-deserved 20 lashes with a wet noodle for forgetting to mention "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" when I originally posted this. Unfortunately, ITLaP has come and gone, but you should still scoot on over to his site and revel in a series of pirate-themed posts that will have you hankering for rum in epic quantities.

Seriously, the guy knows his pirate lore. He has "ship" in his name for goodness' sakes.

* I selected the Rum & Coke as the sample drink because 96.3% of all spiced rum is consumed in Rum & Cokes. However, this may or may not be true because I completely made up that statistic.

Moonlighting: Sept '09

I've been falling down on the job. From time to time, I'm apparently supposed to use this space to alert visitors to other places they can go see my stuff. Many of my hooch-soaked colleagues do this, and it's high time I got on the stick too.

Here's a couple other places you can go see some more of my booze-centric words & pictures:

Brains from outer space need quality cocktails too.

Since late '07, I've had the privilege of writing and illustrating the "Last Call" cocktail column for Bachelor Pad Magazine. BPM is a quarterly periodical* that brings you the finest in retro living: Classic movie reviews? Hip lifestyle advice? Interviews with swell people? Zany cartoons? Nifty fiction? Shapely & seductive women by the truckload? Bachelor Pad Magazine has 'em all.

Subscribe here and find out why I drew a brain in a flying saucer filled with liquor (aside from the obvious reasons).

Monkeys make fine bartenders if provided with the proper tools and motivation.

I've also been writing & drawing a monthly column for BarNoneDrinks.com since about this time last year. It can be found in their monthly newsletter, which contains a multitude of drink recipes, photos, and news from the world of cocktailing. So if you want to keep abreast of compelling issues such as the evolving relationship between primates and mixology, you can subscribe here, and also catch up on previous installments in the archives.

Thanks for stopping by!

* Made with real ink and paper! Not like those flimsy online magazines that disappear if you kick the plug out of the wall.

Save the Date...and Save the Whales!

If you haven't already seen a slew of other boozeblogs alerting us to the fact that tomorrow night (9/3) we celebrate the one-year anniversary of Thursday Drink Night, then here's the highlights:

~ TDN has been going on for a year, and we're celebrating!
~ There'll be a bunch of prizes awarded in a number of categories!
~ Jeff Berry and Martin Cate will stop by!
~ It's open to everyone, so don't be a wallflower!
~ Oh, and the theme is "tiki".


Speaking of tiki...

I've had this recipe kicking around for a while now. It came with a tiki mug I bought from the Queequeg Chapter of the Fraternal Order of Moai., which is an organization of fine, upstanding tiki freaks. I'd been meaning to make it for some time, and I finally rounded up most of the ingredients, so make it I did. Here's the recipe:

Queequeg's Harpoon

1 oz. Lemon Hart Demerara Rum (80 proof)
1 oz. Gosling's Black Seal rum
1 oz. Hurricane rum
.75 oz. lime juice
.75 oz. Queequeg's Blood*
.5 oz. simple syrup
.5 oz. club soda

Shake all (except club soda) w/ 8 oz. crushed ice. Pour into Queequeg MS Society mug. Add club soda. Garnish with cranberries and pineapple chunks on a bamboo spear. Repeat as necessary.

*Queequeg's Blood (cranberry syrup)

2 parts dried cranberries
1 part water
1 part cranberry juice (NOT from concentrate)
.5 part sugar
.5 part brown sugar
1 pinch whole cloves
1 three-inch cinnamon stick

Boil everything together at low heat, stirring constantly for 40 minutes. Let the mixture cool. Remove cinnamon stick. Blend mixture in blender until consistent. Strain multiple times through cheesecloth to remove particles. Bottle & enjoy!


Now the first problem I ran into was not having Hurricane rum, which is a small-batch, aged, slightly overproof gold rum that isn't exactly a commonplace item. Tiki guru extraordinaire Jeff Berry told me suitable substitutes would be something like a gold Puerto Rican (such as Bacardi 8) or amber Cruzan rum.

But because I like to ask people for advice and then not follow it, I subbed Old New Orleans Crystal rum and thought it worked fine. I also left out the club soda because it didn't really seem necessary.

The second problem I ran into is that even on paper, the "Queequeg's Blood" looks like a pain in the ass to make. I made it, and rest assured, it is. Plus, when I made it (using a "1 cup = 1 part" ratio), it yielded a paltry 3-4 oz. of liquid. So I came up with a recipe that's a lot less labor intensive, yields much more usable end product, and tastes the same in my opinion:


Queequeg's Blood (ver. 2.0)

1.5 cups dried cranberries
1.5 cups unsweetened cranberry juice
1 cup water
2 cups sugar
.5 cup brown sugar
15 whole cloves
2 three-inch cinnamon sticks

In a medium saucepan, bring everything to a boil, stirring until sugar is dissolved.. Lower heat, and simmer lightly for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Let cool, strain and bottle. Yields approx. 2.5 cups liquid.

So when all this tinkering was concluded, I ended up making this:


Queequeg's Harpoon (12" dance remix)

1 oz. Lemon Hart Demerara rum (80 proof)
1 oz. Gosling's Black Seal rum
1 oz. Old New Orleans Crystal rum
.75 oz. lime juice
.75 oz. Queequeg's Blood (ver. 2.0)
.5 oz. simple syrup

Shake everything with cracked ice and strain into double old-fashioned glass or tiki mug filled with crushed ice. Garnish with cranberries and pineapple chunks on a bamboo spear.


So instead of punching holes in an innocent sea creature, gather up your giggle water and make a few of these. If that still doesn't satisfy your bloodlust, there's always Deadliest Catch.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T for VS & FC

Same great taste...new and improved!

If you talk to enough booze nerds, certain patterns emerge. Cocktail enthusiasts tend to share an affinity for a lot of the same things (i.e. bitters, Hawaiian shirts), and you'll begin to hear specific names get dropped frequently if you hang out with these folks long enough.

There are certain people, products and publications that are perennial favorites- every drink geek worth his or her salt will be at least vaguely familiar with them. To try to list them comprehensively is an ambitious task, but let's just say that if you found yourself in the average booze nerd's house, you could make pretty accurate guesses as to what you'll find on their bookshelf and in their liquor cabinet.

For now, we'll leave the subject of people's liquor collections aside...analyzing what bottles people let reside in their homes is a pretty tall (and contentious) order. Book-wise, there tends to be a bit more agreement on what volumes are "must-haves." And there's one title that crops up again and again when you ask discerning drunks about books that they always keep within easy reach and refer to with great frequency: Vintage Spirits & Forgotten Cocktails.

This book, assembled by Ted "Dr. Cocktail" Haigh performs an admirable double-duty. It's a great collection of drink recipes and related historical info. But it's also responsible for the creation of many drink geeks. Ask your average cocktail obsessive what got them started on their pursuit of quality tipples, and you'll find that several of them credit running across a copy of VS & FC as being responsible for kick-starting their quest.

That's what happened to me. Back in the 90's the Bamboo Babe had given me an edition of the Mr. Boston's guide, which gave me a glimpse into what you could do with booze and a few mixers. But it wasn't until her mother gave me a copy of Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails a few years ago that the hook was set (apparently both these women want me loaded as often as possible).

Full-throttle geekery ensued. I imagine my trajectory wasn't terribly different from anyone else's: Wondering what the hell half the ingredients were. Then trying to FIND those ingredients. Discovering through trial-and-error which things I did & didn't care for. Learning proper mixing techniques. Spending unhealthy amounts of time online researching and sharing info with other enthusiasts. Wondering if there were any actual bars making these drinks anymore, or were they being crafted solely by hermits with outsized liquor stashes and a penchant for history?

So I ended up doing what many booze nerds embrace as the next natural step in the progression: Blogging. I don't know why so many of us feel the compulsion to document our drinking publicly, but there you have it. I began to notice a lot of boozebloggers were frequently posting recipes from VS & FC, and we compared notes. Clearly there were lots of others who were using this book as their bartop lodestone, and with good results. I also told anyone I met offline who expressed curiosity in drinking well that VS & FC was one of the first books they should get.

Then I discovered the damn thing was out of print. After telling everybody and their brother to go get it , the only place one could apparently be obtained was on the secondary market for well above the cover price. I guarded my copy like a religious artifact and refused to let it leave the house.

Except for when I toted it to New Orleans for Tales of the Cocktail in 2008. You see, by then I was deep enough into my obsession to have reached the next stage in the game: making the annual pilgrimage to Tales. I knew that Ted Haigh would be there and if I ran into him I wanted to tell him how much I enjoyed his book and possibly get him to sign it. Also, he had been nice enough to comment on one of my earlier posts, and I wanted to thank him for visiting my site.

Fortunately, that happened. He was gracious, funny, knowledgeable and kind enough to invite me and the people who introduced us to have a couple drinks with him, despite his being short on time and sleep. Like I said, a heckuva guy.

It was at that time that Ted mentioned the possibility of a revised and expanded second edition of VS & FC. Several months later, it had apparently become a reality, because Ted emailed several people (including me), asking our thoughts on the role blogging plays in the current resurgence of interest in cocktails. I was tremendously flattered he wanted my feedback, and I answered his questions as thoughtfully as I could, assuming that I probably hadn't offered up anything particularly insightful or that hadn't been better articulated by others.

Fast-forward to this past June, when I was able to get my hands on a copy. It turns out that the blogger-specific content that Ted had described ambiguously as perhaps a small sidebar feature or occasional bit of color commentary ended up becoming an entire section of the book. It's titled "Pioneering Champions of the Forgotten Cocktail: The 25 Most Influential Online Cocktail Pioneers" and includes profiles of people who have used (and are still very much using) their access to the internet to advance the cause of good drinking.

As I scanned the list, I recognized many people, several of whom I've had the pleasure of meeting personally, and others I knew by reputation. Almost all have some presence of one kind or another on the internet, and they represent a truly frightening volume of booze knowledge.

Oh, and there's also this one guy who gets buzzed and makes cartoons about it.

Yeah, I'm in there for some reason. To me, that section of the book is 24 people who really know their stuff, and one dork who drinks and draws. But I'm incredibly honored to be in such good company. Most of them are listed over there on the right, and if you have the book you know who they are...and you should be stopping by their sites as often as possible.

If you don't have the book, I strongly recommend picking up a copy of the new edition, even if you're just mildly interested in making good drinks. It's got all the stuff from the first edition, plus a bunch more...and I guarantee there will be at least one drink in there that you'll like well enough to revisit many times.

However, I won't reveal which drink in VS & FC I find myself going back to again and again- I don't want to create any preconceptions. When you get the book, I suggest you simply do what I did, which is to explore with abandon.

Just don't get mad at me when you find yourself typing "Amer Picon" into a search engine at 2:30 am.

I Never Go To Bars

I realized at some point over the last couple years of boozeblogging that there is a key difference between myself and the majority of my fellow drink geeks: I almost never find myself in bars.

It's not that I actively avoid bars...it's just that I never seem to patronize them with any real frequency. Odd, considering I adore bars. I think they're absolutely fascinating places. I love dives and swanky joints alike, and I've had wonderful, memorable times in almost every watering hole I've stepped into. Yet I do 99% of my drinking at home.*

This puts me in direct contrast with most of the other bloggers, bartenders, and assorted booze nerds I know who chronicle their public drinking escapades online. These people do some serious traveling, and not only do they hit up seemingly every bar in within reach, they can pretty much find hooch everywhere. On any given day of browsing blogs, social networking sites and emails, I encounter a flurry of miniature liquor-centric travelogues such as:


"The Moroccan Mixologists' Guild is sponsoring a VIP event...I'm sitting on a camel and sampling concoctions from 478 of the finest bartenders in North Africa!"

"Having drinks in New York's hottest new cocktail spot. To get in, you have to use a jetpack to fly to the roof, then rappel down 18 floors and climb through an air-conditioning vent. Totally worth it- best Negroni EVER!"

"I'm crouched in an igloo drinking Inuit moonshine!"

"Finished judging the Pan-Asian Craft Cocktail Showdown in Hong Kong. Jackie Chan just invited me to the rollout party for his new vodka!

"Got off the plane in Madagascar, and I'm being whisked to the island's only rum distillery for a VIP tour by the owner's daughter. She's been pouring me samples the whole time in the back of the limo. Did I mention she's a lingerie model? "

"Who knew a commercial whaling vessel would have a fully-stocked absinthe bar??"


And so on. Now, if I documented my drinking this way, it would essentially be endless variations of:

"Went to the basement and rummaged through the liquor shelf. Made a weird drink I found in some old bar guide and then watched 'Intervention.' Maybe I can draw a dopey cartoon about it later."

However, despite the fact that I rarely travel past the end of my driveway,** I've recently made several trips to what I'm confident is Pittsburgh's only craft cocktail bar: Embury.

I should point out that in addition to not doing product reviews here (much to the chagrin of the many brand reps who kindly send me samples, I'm sure), I don't review bars. I don't see myself as a critic, and I try to avoid going into that territory as much as possible. That being said, I do need to say just a few words about Embury :

Go there.

If you're in the greater Pittsburgh area and enjoy well-crafted cocktails, you need to go there now. Embury is the domain of Fred Sarkis, a phenomenally skilled & talented bartender who is using the cozy ground floor of the popular Firehouse lounge to bring pre-prohibition bartending to the 'Burgh.

Fred's been doling out the hospitality at Embury since March, and he continues to do so with a high degree of enthusiasm and class five nights a week . As I said, I won't attempt to do the place justice with a ham-fisted review. I'll just say that if premium spirits, fresh juices and homemade bitters & syrups are what you like in your drink, go there. If uncompromising attention to detail and technique in cocktail creation is your thing, go there. If original recipes that can stand alongside the classics sound appealing, go there.

To see a proper review and a photo of this fine gentleman in action (with FIRE!), go here and here.

I should also mention that Fred and the good folks at the Firehouse/Embury recently hosted a live Thursday Drink Night event and good-naturedly let a flock of booze nerds slap their laptops and webcam on the bar, much to the curiosity of the other patrons. Fred gallantly endured us barking pisco-themed recipes at him all night long while the management tried to avoid a wi-fi meltdown from the sheer volume of geekery. Many thanks, gang!

And because it bears repeating...

Go there.


* there are number of reasons for this, among them being that I'm a cheap bastard (according to the Bamboo Babe)

**A notable exception is that big yearly event in New Orleans that all the booze nerds go to. If you're reading this, there's a halfway decent chance you go there too.